They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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