Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
