drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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