They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
bring money and cleavage
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
