You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
