Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
