There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
