I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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