Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
