Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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