my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
