are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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