two words: eviction party
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
