The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
