The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
