so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
