Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
