dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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