Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
