It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
