You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize