...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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