Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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