I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dignity is for republicans.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
