By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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