why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
