Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize