no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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