My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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