i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
