i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
