you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am one with the molecules
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
