He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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