Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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