glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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