Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
