At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
