I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I wish i was in the wii world.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize