Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
