great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
