32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
