She said her name was "party"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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