Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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