hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
