apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
