I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
