The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
