what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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