it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Randomize
