The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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