if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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