I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
