fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
