he puts the penis in happiness.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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