dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
