I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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