Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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