If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
