Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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