Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
